I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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