Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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