dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
