No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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