He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
