Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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