Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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