Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize