he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
