I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize