Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
