Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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