He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
