All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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