i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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