Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
