Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
