shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
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I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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