that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
