The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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