bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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