Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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