His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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