so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
