We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
