but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
