So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
