it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
