A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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