Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
