she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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