im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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