True but thats because hes a fetus.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
