my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
