ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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