I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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