so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
