I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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