her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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