No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
