I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
