I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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