I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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