I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
