Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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