It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did I show you my penis last night?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
