come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
