he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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