Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
