I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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