I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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