just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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