I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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