Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I think my moral compass just broke
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize