Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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