Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
