who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
