i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
