I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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