Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
