Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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