I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
