it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
