I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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