I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
