Just took my morning after pill in the library
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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