dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
