is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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